Well, That Explains It

Editor’s Note: The following contains what might be described by some narrow-minded segments of society as a feminist rant. If you’re not into it, you can scroll past it for a pizza review. Consider yourself warned.

No wonder I turned out to be a man-hating, baby-killing, anti-American, bull-dyke drug addict (Side Note: No, seriously. Google me sometime.) My mother poisoned me with her responsible use of alcohol. It all makes sense now, kids.

In a recent post about coveting Andy Warhol partyware, I mentioned my new role model, blogger Melissa Summers. (Side Note: I realize my use of her full name violates the standard OTS editorial style of using first names along with some kind of descriptive handle; however, I want to make sure this woman has as many hits as possible on Google so the world can be better exposed to her awesomeness. Melissa Summers Melissa Summers Melissa Summers.) Blogger Melissa (ah, there it is) has achieved some notoriety as a spokeswoman for the two-martini playdate movement — the segment of the child-rearing population that lives by the notion there’s nothing wrong with a group of mothers, as responsible adults, sharing bottle of wine while their children play.

I know. I think Space said it best in the song “The Female of the Species”: “Shock shock horror horror/Shock shock horror.”

Blogger Melissa has received some fair coverage (I learned about her in this New York Times article), although it hasn’t always been so flattering (as in this earlier, extremely disappointing New York Times piece). Her crime, or her gift, depending on who you ask, is chronicling her life as a smart, savvy stay-at-home mom on her very clever and entertaining blog.

I like Blogger Melissa for a lot of reasons: One, she’s smart and funny; two, she writes well; and three, she’s an excellent representative of the population of parents who believe that they should have lives of their own in addition to raising their children, and of the fact that no parent is perfect.

My own mother was a (mostly) stay-at-home mom for years; at the same time, she pursued her own interests, appearing in local theatre productions and working for years as makeup designer for the Anchorage Opera. She and her friends would also sometimes, as their collective children ran around the yard or basement playing wiffle ball or making haunted houses, drink a glass of wine.

Well, apparently we’re lucky we survived childhood with only the usual childhood injuries (a couple of broken bones, some minor scarring).

Last week, Blogger Melissa was asked to appear on a Today Show piece that turned out to be fairly critical of the "Mommies Are People Too!" movement. I’ll let the video speak for itself. Let’s just say Meredith Vieira sounds pretty smug… I guess she never drinks in front of her children. Blogger Melissa comported herself well; certainly better than I would have if Smug Meredith had essentially called me a career babysitter.

The real question here, of course, isn’t whether or not having a drink around children is right or wrong. Any idiot should realize that modeling responsible drinking behavior is part of parenting. No, the real question is: Why are the moms taking all the heat?

Where is the Today Show segment “Dads who drink beer: Neglect or no big deal?” Where is the expose on family holidays (“This Thanksgiving, millions of parents and relatives nationwide will drink a glass of wine with dinner — as their impressionable young children watch in fear and horror.”)?

So if you’re a parent who thinks it’s okay to drink socially and responsibly around your children (you know, as the law allows), or if you nurture some small possibility of one day being one of those parents, or your children are grown and managed to turn out okay despite your insistence on moderate consumption of alcohol, or you’re just tired of the archaic expectation that mothers need to be Stepford Wives-style automatons who do nothing but slave for the needs of everyone around them without ever taking time to themselves, I recommend you (a) give Blogger Melissa a read and (b) contact NBC (today@nbc.com) to let them know Smug Meredith’s approach to “fair and balanced” reporting needs a little fine-tuning.

Melissa Summers Melissa Summers Melissa Summers. There. I’ve done my part.