Comic Relief Of Duty

I’m one of about seven people who reads the Editor’s Blog on the Anchorage Daily News website (Side Note: Sorry, Pat, but you really don’t post that often), which means I’m one of about seven people who knows that ADN is planning to overhaul its comics sections in the near future. This, as anyone who’s ever answered telephones in a newsroom will tell you, is risky business. Hey! That’s a great lead-in to an illustrative example. It’s a gimmick, but it must work, because you folks keep on coming back, God love you. And away we go…

In the spring of 1997, I was working at ADN as editor of the high school feature, which still exists, although it’s no longer the hard-hitting, authority-defying section we hoped it would be. Kids today. The desk I shared with Friend Pete (Aha! you are thinking, That’s how she met him! True, although back then I thought he was kind of annoying. Actually, sometimes I still think he’s kind of annoying. But now he has too much dirt on me, and he’s become a liability. Got to keep him close. Also, I love his family) was right next to the newsroom receptionist’s desk. On April 1, 1997, one of the big features syndicates got all of its cartoonists to switch characters for April Fool’s Day – Blondie delivered a cake to Beetle Bailey, or Marvin popped up in Pasquale’s day care, stuff like that – and we watched, stunned, as Kristi (the adorable receptionist) fielded call after call from subscribers concerned, confused or incensed – truly furious – that the comics were messed up. The comics. Literally. Dozens of phone calls. That was my introduction to just how little perspective people have when it comes to what my mother would call “the funny papers.”

And, okay, me included, and the Brubster fo’ real. Now there is a man who loves his Sunday funnies. So tonight we took Pat’s Q&A about the changes to the comics and sat around the living room doing what we do best: We commented.

Q. What features are you adding?

A. Monday through Saturday, we're adding three new comics:

Bliss, a panel by New Yorker cartoonist Harry Bliss
Brewster Rockit: Space Guy
Animal Crackers by Fred Wagner

On Sundays, we're adding six new puzzles:

Boggle, a word-find puzzle,
Scrabble, a version of the feature that runs Monday-Saturday,
A crossword from Tribune Media (the NYT puzzle will remain in Life),
Jumble Crosswords, which combines a Jumble and a crossword,
Jumble for Kids, and
Kids Across/Parents Down, a family crossword.

And we're adding these color comics:

Brewster Rockit: Space Guy,
Loose Parts,
Shoe,

Me: “Remember that? The old guy who sits in the tree with the typewriter.”
Brub: “Yeah. They got rid of it — because it sucked.”

The Pink Panther (to be replaced in 2008 by a new strip called Retro Geek),
The Middletons,
Animal Crackers, and
Broom Hilda.

Brub: “Didn’t they do that comics survey? I don’t remember seeing any Broom Hilda on that survey.”
Me: “Broom Hilda sucks.”

Q. What are you dropping?

On Sundays, we're dropping . . .

Beetle Bailey,
Zack Hill,
B.C.,

Brub: “About time.”
Me: “I think the guy died.”

Ziggy,

Brub: “No big loss there.”

Over the Hedge,
Pooch Café,

Brub: “WHAT?” (Righteous outrage) “Those are the only two I read.”

Marvin,
Blondie,

Us: “That’s a classic. You can’t get rid of Blondie.”

Hagar the Horrible,
Hi & Lois,
Lola, and
Prince Valiant.

Brub: “Meh.”

Monday through Saturday, we're dropping . . .

Kidspot,
B.C. (the cartoonist, Johnny Hart, died earlier this year), and
Beetle Bailey.

Brub: “Why would they do that?”
Me: “I’m glad you asked.”

Q. Why are you making these changes?

A. The newspaper has to make periodic changes, and if we’re going to add new features we have to getting rid of some others. We wanted a different mix, and a number of the strips have appeared for decades and seem old and tired.

Someone: “Your mom’s old and tired.” (Side Note: We may not actually have said that. But it sounds like the kind of thing we’d say.)

Q. (Fill in the blank) is my favorite comic. Why would you drop it?

A. We based our decisions on a combination of reader feedback (we did a full reader-comics survey last summer) and our sense of which strips are becoming stale. We also saw the opportunity to serve an increasing reader interest in puzzles in general. In the mix of features, we try to strike a balance between material for kids and grownups, between more sophisticated and more slapstick tastes, and between more traditional and more contemporary content.

Brub: “What the f*ck is ‘Fill In The Blank?’”
Me: (Laughing hysterically) “You know that’s going on the blog, right?”
Brub: “What? Those puzzle games have all kinds of stupid names.”

Q. Why fix something that's not broken?

A. We live in a world of constant and accelerating change.

Brub: “Oh, give me a break.”

The newspaper isn't immune from the pressure to change and adapt. Where once a newspaper might have changed its comics lineup once every 20 years, these days we need to do it more like every 20 months. The Beetle Bailey strip has been around for almost 60 years, Blondie for 80 and Prince Valiant for 73 years. Even if you don't think they're broken, you have to consider the possibility that they're past their prime.

Me: “You know, like how they’re updating the Bible all the time.”

Q. It seems like the ADN keep cutting things out of the newspaper.

A. With all the changes going on in the world of news and communications, especially with the growth of the internet, the newspaper has had to reorient itself, to focus…

Confession: The rest of this answer was lost in a sea of groans and eye-rolling.

Q. Beetle Bailey has been in the paper for years. This is a military community. How can you kill Beetle Bailey?

A. Beetle has indeed been in the paper for many years. During that time, the world, especially the military world, has changed tremendously, but Beetle Bailey has not. For example, the role of women in the military today is hardly represented by the stereotype of the general's buxom secretary. We would love to have a good comic about life in the military, and we're looking for one. But for now, we think Beetle's world of dimwitted soldiers chasing dimwitted women while outmaneuvering dimwitted NCOs under the supervision of dimwitted officers has passed its day.

Us: “Ouch.”

Q. I hate (fill in the blank). Why do we have to have that in the paper?

A. We know that each of the comics we're dropping has devoted fans, while the new ones haven’t had years to develop a following. We hope you will give the new features a chance. Who knows, you may find a new favorite.

Brub: “Why can’t they get rid of Funky Winkerbean?”

So, clearly, there’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is, no more preachy, anti-woman, anti-environmentalist, reactionary caveman comic, no more cloying Ziggy, and no more fumbling-in-a-new-direction-hey-let’s-try-talking Marvin. The bad news is we lost some classics (Blondie? Really? Come on. At least it wasn’t Peanuts) and Lola for Animal Crackers is pretty much an even trade. No ground gained there. All I’m saying is, Brewster Rockit: Space Guy better be awesome.

(Side Note: Part of the reason I had to leave New York is I couldn’t imagine raising my children in a world without Sunday funnies, but there was no way I was going to subscribe to anything other than the Times. You laugh, but it’s at least partly true. Plus it’s really tough to get into a good preschool in Manhattan.)