A Little Christmas Bonus

Um, okay, let me tell you a little holiday story. It's called "I Don't Care What the Department of Fish and Game Says, I Am Not Spending My Holidays Squishing Frogs." It's a nonfiction story, with semiautobiographical elements.

According to this ADN brief, Alaska Christmas trees are infested this year with Pacific Chorus frogs, and in order to keep from adding the AK to the list of places these warty little guys like to hang out, Fish and Game has ordered them killed on sight.

Killed. On. Sight.

"Merry Christmas, kids! Pass your new friend Kermit over here and let Daddy help him take a little nap."

But it gets better:

If you find one, Fish and Game says to call 1-877-INVASIVE. You should then kill the frog by putting Oragel on its head and deliver it to zoologist Tracey Gotthardt at 257-2782, according to Fish and Game.

And! And!

If an infiltrator is discovered after business hours, Fish and Game is asking residents to "place the frog or toad in your freezer in a freezer bag or other plastic container" until you can bring it in.

Because the only thing merrier than killing a frog with tooth desensitizer (I assume they meant Orajel) is HAVING A DEAD FROG IN YOUR FREEZER ALL WEEKEND.

Excuse me while I go be completely creeped out for a while.

***

UPDATE:

OTS Hawaii correspondent Jeannette reports there's a shortage of Christmas trees on O'ahu in part because Department of Agriculture inspectors refused seven containers of trees due to pests. The Honolulu Advertiser doesn't specify what kind of pests, but Jeannette wonders if we got Hawaii's rejects...